Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
