i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
