and she was petting her beer can
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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