she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
