two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
