16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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