Redeem this text for a blowjob
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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