I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
