What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
