just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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