You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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