Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
