you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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