trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
