a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
