Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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