Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
