In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
