If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
