dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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