check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
