He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
