I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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