I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
