Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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