I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
