she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
