omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
