just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize