so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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