that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
