she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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