dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
