I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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