Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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