a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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