He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
