ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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