don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
