DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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