Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
