Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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