fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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