I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
