I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
