I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize