what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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