I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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