I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
