guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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