Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
