im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
