i just had sex bonerless
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
