Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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