singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
