I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
